The Butcher of Camp Barlow Page 2

  “Officially man, that’s not cool,” Edgar said, and paused for a beat until the door clicked closed. “Off the record though, my man.” He extended his arm and the blonde grinned, exchanging a series of intricate hand slaps to celebrate the achievement. “How many more you got on the list?”

  “Seventeen,” Cooper replied. “Or... thirty-seven of you include the oft-negotiated but never agreed to bring-a-friend addendum.”

  Edgar raised an eyebrow. “She doesn’t even know about the addendum, does she?”

  “And it better stay that way,” the blonde threatened.

  His dark-skinned friend raised his hands in surrender. “You cool in my book man, I got your back.”

  Cooper nodded, and then took a deep breath. “So look man, something I need to talk to you about.”

  “Come on now, why you gotta spoil shit?” Edgar complained. “We had a good moment there celebrating your sexual conquests, and now you’re about to ask me to steal beer from my old man.”

  “If it’ll clear your conscience, I’m more than happy to steal twenty bucks out of Ritchie’s wallet when he’s not looking. He’s going to be staring at Marie’s ass the whole weekend, so we can chalk it up to a peep show fee.”

  Edgar blinked. “So, let me see if I got all this. You want me to steal beer from my old man and your solution to pay for it all is for me to visually pimp out my girl to some honky perv for twenty bucks?”

  Cooper shrugged. “Forty bucks?”

  “Done.” Edgar clapped him on the shoulder. “Now let’s get the fuck outta here.”

  They headed outside just as Daphne and Pete unloaded their bags from the trunk of Daphne’s car.

  “Hey guys, glad you could make it,” Edgar greeted as he slapped five with Pete.

  “Y’all ready to have some fun?” The brunette grinned as he grabbed the final bag from the trunk.

  His friend nodded. “Oh yeah, this is going to be a kickass weekend.”

  “Hey Marie, your hair is looking real nice,” Daphne complimented as she approached the two girls. “Wish I could get my hair to do that.”

  Heather and Marie looked at each other, and then back at Daphne. In unison, they squealed, “Makeover!”

  Daphne took a step back at their enthusiastic outburst. “Sounds…sounds like fun.”

  The extended blare of a car horn interrupted the small talk. A fourteen foot long black van pulled up to a stop on the curb, proudly displaying an intricately airbrushed shirtless barbarian decapitating several members of a rival tribe. Ritchie killed the motor and stuck his head out of the passenger side window.

  “Ladies, your chariot has arrived,” he waggled his eyebrows.

  “Dude, this is your van?” Cooper grimaced.

  “I sense your doubt,” Ritchie declared, and hopped out of the vehicle. “Allow me to alleviate your fears!” He flung open the panel door, revealing floor to ceiling shag carpeting, bean bag chairs, and two giant coolers in the center.

  Edgar nodded, impressed. “Yeah man, once we go by my pop’s place and get some refreshments, I think we can make this work.”

  Cooper shrugged and finally cracked a smile as he helped load in the bags.

  “Hey Marie, is your brother Jake not coming with us?” Daphne politely asked. Pete raised an eyebrow at her. “What?” She lowered her voice. “Just because I’m not a fan of drugs, doesn’t mean I’m rude enough to make her leave her own brother behind.”

  “Oh yeah, almost forgot him,” Marie replied, and turned to let out an eardrum shattering whistle.

  Across the street, a skinny kid with pale skin and bright red eyes emerged from a billowing cloud of smoke next to what looked like the enforcer from a Mexican drug cartel.

  “That’s my ride homie,” Jake said as he gave the Latin gentleman a fist bump. “Thanks for the smoke out!” He brushed his long wavy blonde locks out of his face before hopping over the porch railing with a faded green duffel bag. “I’ll hit you up next week when my shit comes in.”

  The Latin man nodded before taking another long puff off his joint, adding to the fortress of smoke that had recently been broken by his companion.

  Jake tossed his duffel bag into the van, but Ritchie put a hand on his arm before he got in after it.

  “Hey just so you know, it’s nothing personal,” he said firmly. “But no smoking in the van.”

  “It’s all good man,” Jake drawled, “I got some brownies that will hold me over.”

  “Alright, everybody in? We ready to go?” Ritchie bellowed, puffing out his chest as he opened the driver’s side door. There was a round of impatient affirmative noises, and he smiled as he peeled out.

  CHAPTER THREE

  “Oh give me a break!” Marie shrieked. “Everybody knows that Poison is so much better than Bon Jovi!”

  “Oh please,” Heather replied. “Bon Jovi is hotter, their hair is bigger, and they write better songs. Livin’ on a Prayer is this generation’s Hey Jude.”

  Marie threw up her hands. “Girl you are fucking crazy! Brett Michaels is the sexiest man alive!”

  “Brett Michaels can’t hold a candle to Jon Bon Jovi!” the blonde shot back.

  Her friend scoffed. “If you put Jon Bon Jovi in Poison, he’d be the fifth sexiest man in the group!”

  “Wait, even below Rikki Rockett?” Heather gaped.

  Marie paused. “Well, he is a drummer so he has that timing and rhythm down. Not to mention the endurance.”

  “Yeah, I can totally see your point,” the blonde agreed, and they both paused for a moment, eyes glazing over.

  “So Daphne, settle this for us, will you?” Marie finally broke the silence. “Who’s better? Bon Jovi or Poison?”

  “Well, umm,” the brunette replied, picking at the hem of her top, “I’m actually kind of partial to Duran Duran.”

  The girls leaned together.

  “You know, that Simon Le Bon is pretty cute,” Heather whispered.

  Marie nodded. “He has that accent.”

  “Oh girl that accent can drop my panties so fast they make a dent in the floor!” the blonde squealed, and they laughed in unison.

  “Do you have any idea who the hell they’re talking about?” Edgar asked from the other side of the van as he nursed his second beer.

  “Based on the album covers, they’re a bunch of queers who wear women’s clothing and makeup.” Cooper shrugged. “Although they do have nicer hair than most of the women we have class with. I mean credit where credit is due.”

  “I’m telling you boys, never underestimate the power of being on stage,” Pete declared.

  “Pete’s right you know,” Jake added, startling them from his reclined position on the beanbag chair.

  “Oh yeah? How do you know?” Cooper snapped.

  “Man, I had a gig last year at this little dive bar,” the stoner grunted, not even bothering to open his eyes. “I’d play guitar and sing a few nights a week. Nothing fancy, just some cover tunes and shit. Let me tell you man, I did more mounting and dismounting than an Olympic gymnast.”

  Edgar laughed. “Bullshit.”

  “Hey Marie?” Jake drawled.

  “Whatever he’s saying about his musical conquests is a hundred percent accurate. He has the videos to prove it. Please don’t ask why I know that,” Marie said.

  The three men shook their heads, placed their beers between their legs for safekeeping, and gave Jake a round of applause.

  “Alright everybody we’re about twenty minutes out!” Ritchie yelled from the driver’s seat.

  “About damn time Ritchie,” Cooper snapped.

  Heather glared at him. “If I have to flirt with him, then you have to be nice,” she hissed.

  “So um, yeah man, where you taking us exactly?” her boyfriend asked gently, leaning forward.

  “We are going to be spending the weekend at Camp Barlow,” he replied.

  “Camp Barlow? Are you serious, Ritchie?” Marie squeaked.

  Daphne looked around at her s
uddenly tense friends. “What’s Camp Barlow?”

  “It was this camp for orphans that’s been closed down for a decade. God only knows the condition it’s in,” Pete explained.

  Edgar grunted. “Dude what the hell man? You’re taking us to an abandoned campsite?”

  “What’s wrong man, you afraid Jason is gonna get you?” Cooper teased.

  Edgar scowled at him. “I couldn’t care less about some cracka in a mask, I just don’t wanna be spending my weekend trespassing in a run down camp.”

  “Guys, guys, chill,” Ritchie spoke up. “Just sit back, drink your beer, and trust me. You’re gonna like. If you don’t I’ll turn around and drive us right back. Deal?”

  “You’d better be right Ritchie,” Cooper warned. “You’d better be right.”.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Ritchie turned the van down the dirt driveway, kicking up dust over the shirtless muscular barbarian. Low hanging branches bounced on the top of the vehicle, a byproduct of the years of neglect the property had endured since that gruesome night in the seventies. The occupants held their alcohol tightly as they bounced side to side on their bumpy journey.

  “Yeah this really feels like a well maintained property.” Cooper rolled his eyes.

  Ritchie slammed on the brakes, thrusting everyone forward.

  “Alright, we’re here!” He declared as he put the van in park. “Give me a second and I’ll come around and open the door for you.”

  There were three dilapidated bunk houses in view as he opened the door. The one to the far left had been completely burned to the ground, while the middle one appeared to be one strong gust of wind away from collapsing.

  The most ominous was the final building with the bars on the windows. The front door was triple chained and there was a giant skull painted on the door above the words YOU ENTER, YOU DIE.

  The group stared blankly for a moment before Cooper stomped towards the open door.

  “You little fucking shit!” he snarled. “After I kick your ass, you’re gonna drive us home and then I’m going to kick your ass again!”

  Ritchie held up his palms. “Calm down, calm down! Pay no attention to that. We’re staying over there.” He pointed out of their field of vision.

  Cooper hopped out of the van and shoved Ritchie aside to see what he was pointing at. As he turned, his gaze softened and he laughed. “Man, you guys gotta see this.”

  The three couples milled out and joined him in relieved mirth.

  “See, what did I tell you guys?” Ritchie beamed. “Great, right?”

  The counselor house was in the final stages of a complete revamping. The grounds were perfectly manicured, a brand new fire pit stood a few yards off the front porch, and a new coat of white paint coated the majority of the exterior. The only portion left incomplete was at the rear of the house where some scaffolding tower stood.

  “Ritchie, it’s amazing. How did you know about this place?” Daphne asked.

  “Well, about eight years ago my grandaddy picked up this property cheap at auction,” Ritchie explained. “He came of age during prohibition and spent his first working years apprenticing with his uncle making moonshine. So after he retired, he decided to relive his glory days, bought this place and started distilling again. Guess he figured that after the incident none of the locals would really want to set foot up here, so it was the perfect spot. He passed on a couple months back and nobody else in the family is interested in this place, so I figured it would be great for a getaway spot.”

  “What incident?” Daphne furrowed her brow.

  Ritchie scratched the back of his head. “Back in seventy-six there was a-”

  “Oh who cares? We can have story time at the bonfire tonight. I wanna go swimming!" Marie cut in.

  “Yeah, now you’re talking girl,” Edgar said as he wrapped her up in his arms.

  “Alright, so let’s grab our bags, get our bathing suits, and go!” Heather agreed as she moved towards the back of the van, only to be stopped by her boyfriend.

  “Ladies, we’re all friends here,” Cooper said with feigned innocence. “Bathing suits are for when you are amongst strangers. Let’s just go with what god gave us.”

  Marie and Heather glanced at each other for a moment before playful smiles grew on their faces.

  “Alright, but you have to give us a five minute head start to the lake,” the blonde ran a finger down her boyfriend’s chest, and he grinned.

  “Lake is down that path about half a mile,” Ritchie blurted, scrambling for his watch. “And the clock starts… now!”

  “Come on Daphne, let’s go!” Marie waved at the brunette.

  “No, that’s okay,” she replied with a nervous laugh. “I’m not a big swimmer.”

  “Aw, okay Daph,” Heather waved. “Boys, we’ll see you in a few minutes!” The two giggling girls began their journey.

  About ten seconds passed before Cooper spoke up, “Alright that’s been about five minutes, right?”

  “Damn straight,” Edgar replied and dished out a high-five.

  “Yeah, time flies when you’re having fun,” Ritchie added, shoving his watch into his pocket.

  “What do you think Edgar?” Cooper crossed his arms, straightening to his full height. “He thinks he can look at our women in the nude?”

  Edgar pursed his lips in thought, cocking his head for effect. “That skinny ass white boy did do us a solid with the house,” he said, “I think he can get a pass this time.”

  Cooper stepped over to Ritchie and loomed over him. “Okay, you can come, but no swimming. I see your ass, you drown. Got it?”

  “Agreed!” Ritchie yelled and bolted for the trail. “Keys are in the ignition, let yourself in!” His voice faded away as he ran.

  “Yo, wait up man, those girls will end your life if they see you without us,” Edgar called. Ritchie decided that death was worth the risk, his momentum unbroken. Marie’s boyfriend sighed before giving chase to the sprinting pervert.

  Cooper shrugged. “Well come on Pete, there are some sights to see brother!”

  “You go ahead Coop, I’m gonna stay back, get the generator going and see if I can’t scare us up a fire.” Pete replied.

  Cooper responded by miming a whip cracking, and then darted off into the trees.

  “Pete, you know you don’t have to stay back on my account,” Daphne said, a light blush on her cheeks. “I don’t mind if you look at them. I mean, I know they have some things that I don’t.”

  Pete froze and turned to her. “Hon, if I wanted to look at plastic tits I’d go buy a Barbie Doll. You have so much more to offer than they do. It was your shy kindness that made me fall for you at first sight, remember?”

  “That’s what you tell people,” she teased as he gently embraced her. “I heard the real reason is that my ass is so tight if you bounced a quarter off of it you’d get back five nickels.”

  Pete barked a laugh. “Cooper is so romantic.”

  “I like your compliments better,” she admitted.

  Pete grinned. “I mean you’re dating me, so obviously you’re brilliant.”

  Daphne smiled and plunked her forehead into his chest. He kissed the top of the head, and she giggled. “Okay, what else?”

  “Oh let’s see, we’ve already covered that you’re brilliant,” he replied. “You’re a hell of an athlete, playing volleyball on scholarship, no less. I mean unless they created a league for competitive hair primping those girls couldn’t hold a candle to your success.”

  “Given the amount of hairspray they used, keeping them away from an open flame is probably a good idea,” she said.

  “Look at that, had no idea you were a comedian as well,” Pete replied. “You go on to the lake, I’ll take care of the stuff here.”

  She bit her lip. “You sure hon?”

  “Yeah,” he assured her, “probably a good idea to keep an eye on Ritchie, make sure Cooper doesn’t piss him off to the point that he abandons us up here.”

 
“That’s probably a good idea, since this was a hotbed of criminal activity. I can’t imagine it having phone service,” Daphne said and kissed him quickly before she turned and headed down the trail.

  Pete stood and admired her as she walked. Coop isn’t wrong about that ass, he thought.

  “Man you got yourself a hell of a lady there.”

  “Jesus fucking Christ Jake!” Pete screamed as he grabbed his chest, feigning a heart attack. “Where the hell did you come from?”